i dont know why but for some reason i feel attracted to old men, even men that are ugly for others, like fat or hairy. i dont know why, im good looking but something about giving myself to a man like that is hot Lol

i think i have a crush on my cousin. he wasn't around for most of my life so it's hard to see him as family instead of just another guy (granted, we aren't blood related, long story). he's exactly my type and obviously i would never act on my feelings, but i have touched myself while thinking of him and if he tried to instigate something, i wouldn't mind, but i don't think i'd go along with it either. idk i would let him hit it once but i'd never have any sort of relationship spark from that.

I secretly am mentally unstable. I have random bouts of paranoia where I think that everyone is watching me or talking about me behind my back and my mind is filled with horrible ways I would murder the people I think are talking/staring at me like burning them alive or cutting them 1000 times very slowly. I also go through random bouts of moderate depression where I hate myself and yet at the same time I feel above others. During these times ill cut my thighs although I'm usually too weak to cause very much damage. I hate that I can't hurt myself because I'm weak. sometimes I wish that everyone I know would forget about me and I'm prone to self-pity. I have a problem with lust and frequently fantasize about forcing myself upon others or other obscene disgusting things. No one knows this about me and actually most people see me as a very good person and a goody two-shoes. I often think about trying to get away with murder or suicide. I think i might multiple personalites.

I'm 21, I've been reading these confessions since I was 14 and depressed. I've had suicidal thoughts ever since then. I just wish I could appreciate my life (white, lower middle class UK family). My girlfriend doesn't know how frequently I wish I could kill myself. She makes me feel bad because I have privilege. I'm so tired already.

I am an engineering student in my second year, soon to be in the third year in a private college. The fees is approximately Rs 4,00,000 for 4 years. Not only the fees of the college, a house is also taken on loan, so it will take many years to pay back the entire amount. There are many other costs as well. When I think about it, the costs seem to be huge. And, I am jobless. Tried many times to get an internship, but always failed. We belong to the lower middle strata of society. So, we are not rich. We don't live in luxury, but we are comfortable. It always feels like I am just living off my father's expenses. I don't contribute anything for the house. This makes me sad. Also, I am scared for my future, whether I will be able to get a job or not.

I just tried to cut my thighs with some small scissors. I only left scratches. I'm really really scared. I don't know why I did it. I keep crying but I don't know why I keep doing that either. I don't want to tell anyone.

I don't earn a single rupee. I am a jobless student. The other day, at a function at our college, a couple of my friends told me to accompany to their mess for a drink. I have never drunk before, so I gladly agreed. We contributed money equally to purchase one bottle. It was expensive. We had fun. I never got drunk. But after the party, I was guilty, having spent my father's money on drinks. Felt like I was indulging on my father's money. I just want a job or an internship, so that I would be able to spend my hard owned money and not feel guilty. It feels really bad.

I care for my boyfriend deeply, we've almost been together for four years. The thing is though I'm afraid I've fallen out of love with him. Sometimes I wish he'd leave me and on worse days I wish he could just pass away; it's terrible I know. But I'm too scared to be the one to break his heart because I know it would devastate him and he'd never get over it.