I guess it's nothing new or special but right now I can't really help myself so here I am. Although I knew for years that I'm not straight but never even said it out loud to myself. It seems impossible to just tell people who I really am. I guess I don't really know who I am myself and this is just a emotional breakdown that I'll feel awkward about later. But it seems an impossible jump that once started cannot be stopped. Cannot be taken back. And it's exactly because I can't make these jumps I feel like I'm standing on the edge of an abyss just waiting for the gap to increase. Perhaps I'm just a broken emotional wreck that can't trust even the best of people but even if I try I feel pushed away. Is this my cry for help? Not really. I just can't imagine not saying this even if no one ever reads it. Right now I just feel like I have to say this. I can't even imagine how cringey this is to read I apologise :P.

My dad wants me to finish my stupid fucking eagle scout. Why the hell should I care? If I don't want to do it, that should be that. He's always been the douche who makes others do what he wants. He's a hypocritical asshole. I have told him countless times I don't want to do it, but that doesn't change anything.

I wanted to take my own life because my parents were struggling financially and i felt as though i was a burden on them. 10 years later, they're still struggling financially and even resorting to asking me for money, promising to give it back. I don't want any of it back... Because as far as i'm concerned, i owe them more than i can ever repay.

I have liked this guy ever since I saw, we're classmates still. Back then, my feelings aren't really that obvious since he only thinks of me as a dude. (I'm a girl) then My best friend told me that she likes him, and I know that my crush likes her too. I didn't do anything because what could I do? My crush doesn't like me back. Next school year came and we're still classmates, but we're not clasmates with my best friend. My feelings still hasn't go away, but I have another friend who likes him. Heck almost all of my friends like him. Lately I'm avoiding him but he just keep giving hints and I'm being lead on. It just hurts

Sometimes my parents make me want to kill myself. I know I shouldn't say this as some kids don't even have parents but no matter what I do my parents never seem to feel proud of me or want to have a relationship with me. They treat me like garbage which makes me act out. I can't wait to move out so I'm out of their hair.

I am ***this*** close to using my mom's credit card to buy myself a jacket I'm dying to have. The price is super reasonable and the seller is giving a bundle of free stuff with the purchase. I have pics of her card on my phone and the all numbers plugged in... I just need to hit the checkout button. It's sooooooo tempting. I want new clothes so bad and ever since I got caught shoplifting it's been so hard. I used to get new things whenever I wanted and now I can barely sneak new earrings. God, I want this sweater... the shopaholic in me is saying it will solve all of my problems and I believe her. Ahahah, also did I mention it's 2am and I have finals tomorrow? Classy. I probably sound like a total brat here, sorry about that. I promise I'm not, I just have a lot of emotional issues and I tend to think the solution is in material objects. It often is, at least for a couple days. Then it's back to depressionsville USA.Thanks.

I am not sure how I feel about my girlfriend all the time. I'm a woman, and she is the first person I have ever dated. I have never even kissed anyone else. I have dated her for a long time now and think i'm going to marry her. Sometimes I wish I could have sex with a guy, just for the sensation. I have tried to tell her, but I think she is worried that she is not enough. She is more than enough, I think I just have a higher sex drive than her. I worry that this together with my mental health struggles, and our collective inexperience will make our relationship not work out in the long run. I wonder if im a bad person for seeing the end while I still have something and someone so pure and loving and wonderful?

I really don't know if I'm acting or not when I show off my emotions to anyone. I'm not an actress or anything but I do read stories and watch movies that sometimes I copy their act. I notice this half a year ago, when the doctor's been explaining the terrible news about my Mom, and also in her death bed. I was crying but then in the middle, there's this small me on my head saying "Your just acting" or "Is this real crying?". After that i've always been doubtful of myself whether i'm acting or this is real, specially when I lash out because of the shitty life after Mom. I don't know anymore.