i dated a guy who was 20 when i was 14 and this same guy had sex with his step sister, who was my best friend. i still feel so guilty about it sometimes

Jeez ok I have 2 personalitys and one of them is the one everyone knows as a kind stubborn funny and what not artist but that's not really me. I'm an person who likes hearing about people dying and I'm not kind at all I just think of ways to hurt people and when I heard my dad was dying I hate to say it but I hoped he would die and I keep hearing voices in my head telling me to starve and kill myself like wow how fucked up am I. Honestly I only have one friend I don't want to be her friend because Im scared one I'm going to hurt her.for so many years I had to pretend I was someone else but no no no no no no no no no no I am so close to ripping my skin off I can't keep pleasing my parents I traced others people art for so long just to convince my parents I'm not a failure but now I don't do that anymore thank god for that at least I'm still an artist tho anyways I don't know how to please my parents anymore school has gone harder and Im breaking. I can't stand to live anymore Im done.

im inlove with my bestfriend, like real love the movies type love, but she has a boyfriend and shes not gay. when i look at her it feels like everything is going to be okay for once. Shes the only reason why im still here

Haven, I am in love with you. I have to write this somewhere, to at least feel as though it has been said aloud. I feel so deeply that we are soulmates, that it kills me to be near you and think that it might never happen. I am holding hope tightly, wishing, waiting, expecting you to wake up and realise it. I know you have a crush on me and won't say anything, I can see it, feel it, whenever you are nearby. You are scared, I know it. When I look deeply into your eyes everything melts away, and it's just you and I. I dream of having a life with you. I want you to know I feel so deeply for you. I have never felt this way for anyone in the past. I want a future with you. I hope that soon you can feel comfortable enough in your own skin to admit to me your feelings toward me. There are things you have to set aside before you can truly know yourself, distractions are keeping you from seeing the fire in your soul, and you need to let them go, I know you understand.Yours forever, I love you.

I've been feeling down and demotivated lately...

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year now. While working at summer camp 2020, I became very good friends with one of my co workers and when I was having relationship problems I would turn to him (keeping in mind he has a girlfriend) Me and him made out a couple times and I felt really bad so I told him that we could only be friends and that I was serious about my relationship. He respected that and we were really good (platonic) friends for a while and no neither of us told our significant others about what happened. Today we planned for him to come over and we were having a good time. But smt happened and we were making out again? I feel so evil but then again I’m only in high school and feel like it’s not a huge deal? It’s clear we can’t just stay friends as we keep ending up here. there’s def smt there but I don’t think we’d leave our s/o’s for each other, we love them too much but if anything happened we would probably get together. I also really love being friends w him :

I'm a psychopath. I love it. I get thrills from tricking people like you into thinking that I'm normal. I'm the best at masking myself. I prey on the weak. I love finding vulnerable women to dominate sexually and psychologically.

I hate living. I have everthing I want and need. But most days I'm on my back on the couch trying to catch my breath. I d k why I do but I hold my breath. Have for decades, I'm 70. I can't breathe, move, or think. No one understands, and how could they? No one wants to hear any more about it. I've seen MDs and specialists MDs and shrinks and they all say they -believe me -(yeah right) but they don't know what the problem is. Anti-depressants help w my mood but not w my breathing. Alternative healers always have diagnoses but their remedies don't help. I have a few friends. I dont want to make friends cuz I feel like shit and un-likeable. I don't wanna get close to people cuz I wpnt like them, or they me. I dont drink, never have but I'm in AA I (I lie) for 28 yrs bc they know what it;s like to feel shitty &dont hide it; that makes me feel better for a day or two. May writing this'll help me feel understood.