I hate myself. I hate the way I look. The way I act. I just find myself one of the most disgusting people I know. I just wanna disappear tbh. I wish I looked different. I want to be a pretty girl so bad. A skinny girl. Idk. I have no body to tell so here I am, not like it matters.

It's bullshit. You were bullshit. What the actual hell. You were full of shit. And I thought it was love. You never really cared. Because if you did. You would've let me go from the first time you fucked up. You wouldn't have asked for a chance. You wouldn't have listened to me cry. You would've stopped and left. But you're so full of shit. I don't need to get over you. I was over a long time ago. I just wished you would've seen me. Actually see me for what I was in front of you. Begging on my knees but i guess my boobs were too small to catch your eyes. Maybe you didnt realise my existence and feelings by accident. You didn't see it, which is why you never realised it was over until I was gone. Now all I have left is pain. But I'm done. It's time to bury the body. Don't worry. I'll bring flowers. I mean I'm burying my wasted efforts. My wasted tears. My wasted virginity. My wasted time. And I have you to thank. My first but never last love?

Prayer for Financial Breakthrough Dear Lord, I thank you for everything you have done for me. I know that I a truly blessed. Lord I ask that you heal my finances so that I can save money and pay my bills. I ask that you turn both of businesses into very profitable and successful businesses. I ask that you send people to my website that will purchase products from my website this year. I pray that they will become repeat customers. I also ask that you send me clients that will pay me to do marketing for them this year. Amen Dear God, I come to You today seeking Your help and Your guidance. I am struggling financially and I need Your provision and Your protection. Please give me wisdom and discernment as I make decisions about my finances, and help me to trust in Your plan for my life. I pray for a financial breakthrough, for the abundance and prosperity that You have promised me. Please open doors of opportunity for me and lead me to the resources and the support that I need. I pray for

I self harm, like badly. I physically cannot bring myself to stop it and its causing me anemia it's gotten so bad. I keep buying better, sharper, easier blades to use. I keep doing it more every day. I've been doing this since I was 10-11. I'm terrified of myself and i know my body will never be the same so I don't want to give it up just so I have an excuse to hide myself. Nobody knows that I do it. I want to tell someone. So why not scream it out on the internet. I don't want to get better yet, but at the same time I want to stop being mentally ill. But I can't. I don't want advice here, I just want someone to know that I self harm and unserstand that it's an issue I have.

I accidentally left a cat to die. It was a kitten and it was meowing endlessly at midnight. I couldn’t sleep knowing a cat was abandoned by their mother. I’m sure the mother was gone because this is the first time I’ve seen any cat by itself. Around 3am I heard it again and tried beckoning it out. Eventually, at 5, I got it to leave but it immediately booked it towards my pool. I had to struggle to get it out. Eventually, I got it but not without a fuss. It yelped and hissed. I noticed how dirty and unkempt it looked. I took it outside. Little guy was shaking. I put him in the sink so I could eventually clean him up. I shouldn’t have done that. He tried running away and eventually went into my garage, where I couldn’t find him ever again. I tried. I tried. I tried. I tried luring him out! I moved so much clutter and boxes but to no avail. I am writing this hearing them meow knowing I can never get to them and I’m so depressed. Here’s a photo of them. https://ibb.co/5BKBkPZ

I wish my upstairs apartment neighbors would all die. They are shitty people. Playing music past midnight, letting their stupid kids stomp around on the floors, and in general, being lazy fuckers who don't what -decency- means if it hits them in the fucking face.

Started writing fanfic a few years ago. A reader lets call them “Sam” messaged me with a request for an idea they wanted me to write. I didn’t really have interest in Sam’s idea, but wanted to maintain a good relationship with my readers so I told them I would write it. I did write a few chapters, but quickly lost interest in writing it. (To be fair I also lost motivation for stories I actually liked writing) so I stopped updating it. Sam kept messaging me when the next update would be, and I would tell them once I found the motivation or something similar hoping if I continued to do nothing they would eventually stop contacting me. Sam continued to message and I did try to “reboot” the story , but again quickly lost interest. Sam continued to message despite me not updating, I was too much of a coward to tell Sam I didn’t want to write it anymore and got fed up with Sam constantly messaging me, so I deleted all my stories and blocked Sam so I didn’t have to deal with them anymore

I hate my life and have no clue why I haven’t ended it yet. I’m stuck in grad school indefinitely and getting nothing out of it at all, I’m starving from low wages, both of my parents are having very severe health issues, I don’t have friends I can talk to, one of my roommates is crazy and hostile to me constantly, I had been severely overworked the past year to the point that I would regularly go several days without sleeping and was eventually hospitalized, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. I could go on for hours- my advisor has barely helped me with anything since I joined the program half a decade ago, my sister is relapsing into extreme behavioral issues she had as a child, the crazy roommate is gossiping about me around my department… I have no direction and can’t foresee any future for myself, I’m always panicking, and I feel like the only thing keeping me from killing myself is the thought of it impacting my family and partner